Hilarious jokes about life as a couple

Discover funny jokes featuring couple relationships in a light and entertaining atmosphere.

Joke 1: The Unexpected Encounter

A man strikes up a conversation with a young woman in a supermarket. To his surprise, she says to him:

• What would you like ?
• Oh, just a few moments to chat with you.
• Are you courting me? You're in a relationship, aren't you?
• Yes, I am in a relationship, I have a partner. However, as soon as I start a conversation with a beautiful young woman, my girlfriend reappears in less than 10 seconds.

Joke 2: Marital Innovation

One Friday evening, a husband decided to confront his wife at her workplace. Back home, he said to her:

• Honey, how about trying a new position this weekend?
• The woman then replied: "Okay, while our child sleeps in their bed, you will stand in front of the kitchen worktop. As for me, I will take a nap on our bed while watching television."

Joke 3: A surprising destination

A man tells his friend about an unusual holiday plan he and his wife have:

• This year, my partner wants to go somewhere unusual and fun. So I put up a world map on the wall at our house and gave her a dart. Then I asked her to step back and throw the dart at the map. I promised we would go to the spot where the dart landed.
• Well, and what will your destination be?
• Finally, we will spend the first two weeks of August at the library.

Joke 4: The car breakdown

After her workday, a woman returns home with a worry about her husband's car. He is engrossed in a football match on television.

• Honey, your car won't start.
• Is there a problem? What happened to my car? Is it broken down?
• I'm afraid water may have gotten into the carburetor.
• Not very funny, do you even know where the carburetor is? Are you kidding? How could water have gotten in there in good weather? Where's my car anyway?
• Into the pool!

Joke 5: The vagaries of passing time

An elderly man and his wife discuss the evolution of their lives after 40 years of marriage:

• Honey, 40 years ago, we had an old, unreliable car and a modest two-room house. At night, we would settle down on a rug to watch movies on a small black-and-white television. Back then, I shared my nights with a beautiful 22-year-old blonde. Today, we live in a lavish mansion, own a BMW and a Mercedes, an 86-inch flat-screen TV, but I share my bed with a 65-year-old woman and I don't sleep anymore.

Joke 6: Posthumous Projects

• The husband: "After my death, do you plan to remarry?"
• The woman: "No, I will live with my sister."
• The woman: "And you?"
• The husband: "I too will live with your sister."